The most dangerous lie a new administrator tells themselves is this: “We had a good conversation, so we are on the same page.”
You sit down with a teacher who has been arriving late. You have a warm, supportive chat. They promise to do better. You shake hands. You walk away feeling like a leader.
Fast forward six months. That same teacher is now 30 minutes late for the fifth time. You go to your Human Resources director to ask for help.
HR asks one question: “Show me the documentation.”
If you say, “Well, we talked about it in September, and again in November,” but you have nothing on paper, you lose. In the eyes of the district (and the law), those conversations never happened.
You are back to square one.
The Documentation Dilemma
Most of us avoid documentation because we don’t want to be “That Guy.”
We think documentation means pulling out a formal “Letter of Reprimand” on district letterhead. That feels aggressive. It feels like we are building a legal case against someone we like. So, we choose being “nice” over being “clear.”
But there is a middle ground between a verbal chat and a formal write-up.
It is called the “As We Discussed” Email.
The Strategy: The Friendly Follow-Up
Immediately after any difficult conversation—whether it is with a staff member, a parent, or a vendor—I go back to my desk and send a short email.
It accomplishes three things instantly:
- It creates a timestamp. You now have proof of the date and time the conversation occurred.
- It clarifies expectations. It forces you to summarize exactly what was agreed upon.
- It forces a rebuttal. If the other person disagrees with your summary, they must reply now. If they don’t reply, they have tacitly accepted your version of events.
Here is exactly how I write them for different scenarios.
Scenario 1: The Teacher Issue (The Late Arrival)
You don’t want to write them up, but you need them to know this is serious.
Subject: Quick recap / Morning Supervision
Hi [Name],
Thanks for chatting with me this morning. I appreciate you being open about the traffic issues you’ve been facing.
Just to recap our conversation: We agreed that moving forward, you will be at your duty post by 7:30 AM to ensure student safety. I appreciate your help with this!
Thanks,
Mr. Reed
Why it works: It sounds friendly (“Thanks for chatting”), but it clearly defines the expectation (“7:30 AM”). If they are late again next week, you forward this email to HR. Documentation complete.
Scenario 2: The Angry Parent (The Phone Call)
You just spent 20 minutes de-escalating a parent on the phone. Do not hang up and forget about it. They might call the Superintendent in an hour and claim you promised them something you didn’t.
Subject: Follow up regarding [Student Name]
Dear Mrs. Smith,
Thank you for speaking with me on the phone today regarding John’s suspension. I am glad we were able to connect.
Per our conversation, John will return to school on Wednesday, and he will check in with the counselor upon arrival. As we discussed, any future incidents of this nature will result in a mandatory parent conference.
We look forward to seeing him Wednesday.
Sincerely,
Mr. Reed
Why it works: It locks in the “Return Date” and the “Future Consequence.” They can’t come back later and say they didn’t know.
Scenario 3: The “Directive” (Covering Your Assets)
Sometimes your boss tells you to do something you think is a bad idea. You need to document that you were ordered to do it, so you don’t get thrown under the bus later.
Subject: Clarification on Testing Schedule
Hi [Supervisor Name],
I am writing just to confirm the directive given in our meeting today. Per your instruction, we will be cancelling recess to extend the testing block for 3rd grade. I will move forward with that communication to parents immediately.
Thanks,
Why it works: You aren’t arguing; you are “confirming.” But if parents riot because recess was cancelled, you have an email proving it wasn’t your idea.
The Takeaway
Documentation isn’t about getting people in trouble. It is about clarity.
Conflict happens in the gray areas. “I thought you meant…” or “I didn’t realize…” are the phrases that cause headaches.
The “As We Discussed” email eliminates the gray area. It protects your teachers, it protects the school, and most importantly, it protects you.