There is a trap that every new Assistant Principal falls into at least once.
You are in the teacher’s lounge. The staff is complaining about a new policy your Principal just announced—maybe it’s a new duty schedule or a new lesson plan template.
A teacher looks at you and says: “Mr. Reed, be honest. Do you actually think this is a good idea?”
The temptation is overwhelming. You want to be cool. You want to be “one of them.” So you roll your eyes and say, “Look, I just do what I’m told. It wasn’t my call.”
In that moment, you gained a “friend.” But you lost your leadership.
The moment you throw your Principal under the bus to score points with the staff, you have broken the chain of command. You have created a divide: “Us (The Nice APs)” vs. “Them (The Mean Principal).”
That is poison for a school culture.
Here is the rule I live by: The United Front.
The “Marriage” Analogy
Think of the Principal and the Assistant Principal like parents. Mom and Dad can argue about the curfew behind closed doors. They can yell, debate, and disagree.
But when they walk out into the living room to talk to the kids, the decision is final. If Mom says “Midnight,” Dad supports it. If Dad rolls his eyes and says “Mom is being crazy,” the kids learn they can play the parents against each other.
Schools work the exact same way. If the staff smells a divide between the Admin Team, they will exploit it.
Phase 1: The Closed Door (Argue Hard)
Being a “United Front” does not mean being a “Yes Man.”
Your job as an AP is to give your Principal your honest perspective. If they are about to make a terrible decision, you owe it to them to say so.
The Script:
“Boss, I want to support you on this, but I see a blind spot. If we cut recess, the 5th-grade team is going to revolt, and discipline referrals will spike. Have we considered Option B?”
Argue your case. Push back. Use data. Do this privately.
Phase 2: The Open Door (Commit Fully)
Once the meeting is over and the Principal makes the final call—even if they didn’t take your advice—the debate ends.
When you open that office door, it is no longer “Her Decision.” It is “Our Decision.”
When a teacher asks you about it, you do not lie. You do not have to fake enthusiasm. But you must show alignment.
The “Trap Question” Script:
Teacher: “Do you agree with this new schedule?”
You: “I know it’s going to be a heavy lift for the team. But I understand the goal is to maximize reading time. My job now is to help you guys make it work with as little stress as possible.”
See the difference? You acknowledged their pain (“heavy lift”) without betraying your boss.
The Takeaway
If you constantly undermine your Principal, you aren’t showing the staff that you are “cool.” You are showing them that you are disloyal.
And one day, when you are the Principal, they will remember that.
Fight hard in private. Support hard in public.
This requires honest communication. It goes back to the principle that Clear is Kind.